Feeling lonely? Small steps that actually help

It works like hunger: it tells you something important is missing. It does not say you are boring, odd or too late. It happens after a move, a new job, a breakup, when friends start families, or simply when the weeks pass between work and a phone screen.

You can be lonely with plenty of people around. What matters is not how many contacts you have, but whether there is someone you see regularly and do not have to perform for.

A big decision to “be more social from today” rarely lasts. Something so small that you cannot fail to do it works better.

• Message an old acquaintance with a specific question, not “how are you”.
• Go somewhere with people around, with no task to talk to anyone. Just be there.
• Say hello to someone you see regularly: a neighbour, a barista, someone from the gym.
• Pick one activity and put the day you will go in your calendar.

People rarely become friends after one meeting. They do by seeing each other again and again until conversation stops being an effort. So look for something that repeats: a group that runs every Saturday, a games club every Wednesday, a choir, volunteering.

The first two times will feel awkward. By the third you will recognise someone. That is not failure; it is what the start looks like for almost everyone.

Groups and chats are useful when they lead to a specific place and time. If an hour of scrolling leaves you feeling worse, take it as a sign to put the phone down and go outside, even if only to the shop.

If you have slept badly for weeks, nothing gives you pleasure, or you have thoughts of hurting yourself, talk to someone today. Loneliness and depression often travel together, and depression is treatable. In Bulgaria your GP (личен лекар) is a good first step and can refer you to a specialist.

• 112: immediate danger, 24 hours a day.
• Kabinet.bg: 0800 20 202, free psychological support, weekdays 10:00–16:00.
• Ministry of Labour and Social Policy: 0800 88 001, free psychological support for older people and people with disabilities, daily 9:00–17:00.
• 116 111: the national helpline for children, teenagers and parents.
• Hours change, so check each line’s website.

Pick one small event near you and go, even if you know nobody. Haide shows events like this in Sofia, and you can join on your own without explaining why.